| When
God Created Mothers by Erma Bombeck
When the Lord was creating
mothers, He was into His sixth day of overtime when the angel appeared,
and said, You're doing a lot of fiddling around on this one.
And the Lord said, Have you
seen the specs on this order? She has to be completely washable,
but not plastic; have 180 moveable parts.. .all replaceable; run on black
coffee and leftovers; Have a lap that disappears when she stands up; a
kiss that can cure anything from a broken leg to a disappointed love affair;
and six pairs of hands.
The angel shook her head
slowly and said Six Pairs of hands?.... no way.
Its not the hands that are
causing me problems, said the Lord. It's those three pairs of eyes
that mothers have.
Is that on the standard model?
asked the angel?
The Lord nodded His head.
one pair that sees through closed doors when she asks, 'what are you kids
doing in there?' when she already knows. Another here in the back of her
head that sees what she shouldn't, but what she has to know, and of course
the ones here in front that can look at a child when he goofs up and say,
'I understand and I love you' without so much as uttering a word.
Lord said the angel touching
his sleeve gently, come to bed Tomorrow....
I cant said the Lord, I'm
so close to creating something so close to myself. Already I have one who
heals herself when she is sick.. can feed a family of six on one pound
of hamburger...and can get a nine year old to stand under a shower.
The angel circled the model
of a mother very slowly, Its too soft. she sighed.
But tough! said the Lord
excitedly. you can not imagine what this mother can do or endure ....
The angel then ask, can she
think?
Not only think, but she can
reason and compromise, said the Creator.
Finally the angel bent over
and ran a finger across the cheek, There's a leak, she pronounce. I told
You,You were trying to put too much into this model.
It's not a leak, said the
Lord, It's a tear.
What's it for? asked the
angel.
It's for joy, sadness, pain,
disappointment, loneliness, and pride.
Lord You are a genius, said
the angel.
The Lord looked somber and
said. I did not put it there.
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